Won’t It Be Wonderful, When Iraq Becomes Just like America?

By Garner Ted Armstrong

The nation of Iraq is a mess. Raw sewage is dumped into the rivers; electricity is on and off, on and off; crime is out of control. The infrastructure was so badly damaged in two wars and by years of neglect that it will take many years to restore it.

Open sewage, trash, ramshackle buildings are everywhere. Poverty, squalor and disease reign. US troops continue to be murdered by cowardly guerillas who set up mines on convoy routes, drop grenades on trucks from highway overpasses, or attack our soldiers with rocket-propelled grenades and AK-47 rifle fire. While some claim the “streets are peaceful” you and I would not really be inclined to go over there, and walk those peaceful streets.

Of course, our troops went to war for all the right reasons; to rid the world of the evil regime of Saddam Hussein, who, along with his sons, has systematically butchered, tortured and shot hundreds of thousands of helpless civilians.

Our government hopes to see a “peaceful, free, Democratic Iraq,” which, it hopes, will enhance the almost non-existent tranquility of the region. Information is even now being compiled which may well put an end to all the liberal attacks against Bush and Blair; proving in detail that Saddam really did have those weapons of mass destruction, and programs in place to produce more.

Meanwhile, our professional police officials are attempting to train 30,000 Iraqis to become a police force in Baghdad and other cities. It has been obvious that US soldiers do not, in the vast majority, speak Arabic, and have not been trained to deal with crime on the streets. Crimes such as break-ins, assault, robbery, auto theft, rape, arson and murder, as well as shoplifting, purse snatching, mugging, drug dealing, counterfeiting, and looting are common    .

How are they training these 30,000?

Will they learn how to “read each ‘suspect’ [who is standing there with a smoking gun in his hand, but who is nevertheless always referred to as ‘the suspect’ in Police doublespeak, and never as ‘the perpetrator’] his ‘Miranda Rights?’” I can see it now: A brutal Iraqi thug has just murdered an elderly woman for her money. The policeman, newly trained by one of America’s top law-enforcement officials, says to him, “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand these rights?”

A court of law? How will the judges be chosen? How will the lawyers be trained?” Will they be enabled to enact Islamic law, such as cutting off the hand of a thief, or beheading, or stoning to death one caught in adultery?

Obviously, law schools must be set up, so tens of thousands of attorneys can advertise on television and in the yellow pages that, “If you were injured in a collision between your camel and a donkey, I can get you millions in damages.” I can see it now. Poverty-stricken neighborhoods will begin speaking of “camel chasers,” notorious for running up to a camel, writhing on the ground, grabbing their neck, and moaning until the paramedics (and the lawyers, who are only moments behind) arrive.

Are we also busily setting up courts in Iraq?

What kind of courts? Logic dictates that we wish to create, in Iraq, a carbon copy; a virtual clone of America. We want Iraq to become a “free Democratic society” in the American mode. Therefore, Iraq would need a Supreme Court just like ours, who would strike down any anti-sodomy laws, and make it legal for same sex marriages.

Huge lawsuits would ensue, wherein an elderly man, hooked on his “hookah” in which he has smoked tobacco for years, sues the tobacco company, and wins millions.

A woman sues the chickpea quickie bar for spilling coffee on her lap, and is awarded millions.

Can’t you just see it?

Soon, now, Iraqi TV will be showing the free Iraqi people the same programs we get to see here. Programs even now coming out, such as those listed in the latest TV guide. The publication said that on “...Fox’s 24, which airs at 9 PM, viewers were exposed to extremely graphic torture scenes — including one in which Agent Jack Bauer literally had his heart stopped while he was slashed, burned and shocked by a taser.”

Come to think of it, perhaps Iraqi viewers to American-type television will not be so shocked or repulsed. After all, didn’t Uday and Qusay feed political dissidents feet first into shredders? The difference is, the public didn’t get to watch.

Ah, yes. Freedom in Iraq. Can’t you just see it? Gay rights demonstrations in Mosul, animal rights demonstrations in Basra, an “all-Gay high school” in Baghdad?

The textbooks will be altered to include stories about “Adam and Steve,” and teach preschoolers about “Daddy’s Roommate.”

All mention of “Allah” will soon be forbidden in government buildings.

The Koran will be ordered out of the schools, and prayers to Allah forbidden in schools or at soccer games.

Fifth and Sixth grade textbooks will explore such things as masturbation, incest, sex-change operations and homosexuality.

The first President of Iraq as a newly free and Democratic Society will declare Ramadan as “Gay Pride” month, instead.

And then there should be an Income Tax imposed, Social Security, and dozens of Federal, State, County and local taxes, including luxury tax, school board tax, Municipal Utility District tax, and sales tax.

Obviously, it is only those people who work for their government from January until the beginning of July who are truly happy and free.

Indeed, when one looks at all the wonderful freedoms exercised by the American people, one can hardly wait to see the Iraqis blessed with the same kind of society.

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